If believing I'm a person makes me a feminist, then I feminist I shall be.

note: I originally posted this on my tumblr, but I thought I'd post it here too.


So I’ve spent the majority of the afternoon/evening/wee hours of the morning reading a bunch of blogs from the Biblical Womanhood/Quiverfull movement, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the “church” is most definitely just as full of crazy idiots as the rest of the world.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a Christian, and I’m not turning away from that just because so many people who claim to be Christians are OUT OF THEIR BLOODY MINDS, and I will say that the ideas that I’m describing here are definitely not every church and certainly not every Christian, and I know for a fact that there are churches out there who know that women are equal with men in God’s eyes and deserve the same dignity that comes with being a child of God. But, unfortunately, there is a large and VOCAL group that preaches against women having any sort of worth outside of the home, and that, frankly, is wrong.  

They aren’t all TOTALLY crazy, and many are genuinely well-meaning. Some simply emphasize that it’s not a bad thing for women to stay home. Some speak out against the sort of feminism that claims that women are somehow BETTER than men. Some argue simply for purity and modesty and respect for men rather than the propagation of the “blundering idiot” male stereotype that has, unfortunately, become so popular in our culture.

But then there are people who say things like:

“I encourage you to recognize the children that came from your own body as God’s gift to your husband. They are HIS heritage (Ps. 127:3-5), and you are HIS helper in caring for these treasures HE is ultimately responsible for.”

or

‘if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it… Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution.”

And I am instantly ANGRY almost to the point of tears because this is so, so wrong.

I’m not even saying that I think there’s anything inherently WRONG with being a stay-at-home mom or with wanting a lot of children or with enjoying traditionally “feminine” hobbies like sewing or cooking or various crafty things. I enjoy that stuff too! And I want a family some day and who knows, I may even be a stay-at-home-mom! (Lord knows it’s not an easy job. I really admire my mom for everything she put in to keeping our home running). All I’m saying is that for church leaders to look at a woman who wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or an author or an artist or a politician or a cop or anything else and tell her that her “highest calling is to be a wife and a mother” is outrageous. Is being a wife and a mother a high and honorable calling? Absolutely! But you know what? So is being a husband and father. Oddly enough, though, you never hear anyone preaching to men that their HIGHEST CALLING is to be a husband and father. No, men may be whoever they want to be, and we women are respected by the church only if we wait in the shadows, silently supporting our menfolk and whiling away our days longing for something more but feeling guilty that we aren’t fulfilled by homemaking. If a woman wants to be a stay at home wife and mother and homemaker, that’s great. She should do that wholeheartedly and serve the Lord in what she does; it’s an honorable calling. BUT THE SAME APPLIES FOR ANY PROFESSION.

And where does this leave single women? People may not ever come right out and say this (even in this crazy anti-woman world, people still at least have some sense of tact), but the teaching that women are saved through having children and that motherhood is the one thing all women should aspire to the most implies that women who are not mothers and wives are even more inferior than women in general. The married mother may only ever be viewed by the church as a wife and a mother and never as a person in her own right, with goals and dreams and abilities of her own, but at least she has a purpose to fulfill within this crazy paradigm. But the single woman? She is only a potential wife for some single Christian man, constantly thrown by the church into matchmaking situations, never a person with something to offer to the work of the church apart from her biological ability to grow a baby. And if a woman CANNOT have children? Where does that leave her? She serves no purpose in this sort of church’s crazy idea of how the world should work. If anything, she can spend her days in the nursery, surrounded by other people’s children as reminders of the shame she feels at being unable to fulfill her “highest calling.”

It is time for the women of the church to stand up and proclaim that we are NOT second-rate citizens in the eyes of God. We are not perfect, Christ died for us and made us clean just as he did for men, and we have talents, dreams, visions, and passions to offer to the church and to the world. We are strong and we are capable and we are willing to do mighty things for the kingdom of God, and we were never meant to sit silently in the wings while the men do all the work. Jesus came to set the captive free, We are the daughters of the King; silent acceptance of oppression was never his design for us.